Dear Mona

Another ongoing feature of this BLOG will be "dear Mona". I refer to the Honourable Madame Mona Fortier, MP, PC, who is our first (and hopefully the last) Minister of Middle Class Prosperity. If there is any case of "the Lady protesting too much" in our politics it has to be the creation and filling of this position. However, I always want to help. Therefore the Dear Mona column will routinely provide ideas, usually one or two at a time. It seems that one column with ten ideas would take too long for the no doubt very busy minister to digest readily and, as Oscar Levant said, "So much time, so little to do."

So let's start with the Inaugural edition, shall we?

Dear Mona: (please inform me asap if you are offended by such an intimate presumption on my part but I thought you would not be as you are almost certainly a Woman of the People. How else could the PM have made you in charge of our prosperity? If not, I will be saddened but will hereinafter refer to you as "Madame Minister".)

As you start in your no doubt challenging post, I humbly propose two ideas to start with. One you might call "tongue in cheek" although you never know where any idea might take you. The other is from my wife who is about as unprosperously middle class as it gets and it is definitely not unserious. At least, I would not tell that to her face:

1. Call the Reverend Joel Osteen and consult him on his "Gospel of Prosperity". He may inspire you as he has inspired so many who view middle class prosperity, like you do, as veritably a religion. He also may have some tax tips for you - he saved $50 million from the IRS - "render unto Caesar what is Caesar's unless you can get a refund." With Osteen, you get your own soul keeper, guru and confessor all wrapped into one. You can even appeal to all those people out there who take this God stuff seriously by claiming a man of the cloth shares your vision. I sense, too, that the Reverend is the PM's kind of guy. Thus you achieve the ministry's goals (er, yours not Osteen's), make yourself an evangelist of the bourgeoisie AND get brownie points with the PM who is always looking to pal around with guys who are mystic and faddish.

2. Cut all the tax and employee contribution withholdings of all workers by 10%. Ok, it seems butt simple, maybe too simple, even for the Treasury clerks, Morneau or certainly the PM to understand. But, my wife told me to tell you this and I'm not going to mess with her and I would advise strongly that you don't either. 

So that's a start. There will be more to come. But I thought that this was enough food for thought that it looks a veritable buffet compared to the bread and water those Finance stooges have got you on. Remember, your job is to be so successful that we do not have to ever have such a transparently obviously politicized sop of a ministry like yours ever created ever again. The best thing you can do is to make yourself obsolete, redundant and surplus to requirements asap!

Good Luck in the meantime and remember that those people behind you laughing in the halls are not talking about you. Really. Seriously. Say "Hi!" to the PM and Bill and recall...

It is Now 192 days until the time will run out to Kill Quebec's Bill 21 with a Federal Bill of Disallowance.